The Unfinished Tapestry

Many years ago, my step-sister gave me a tapestry that she had sewn by hand. It was a gift. She had framed it, wrapped it and presented it to me. But, it was unfinished. There were all loose threads in the back, a knotted mess. She had handsewn most of the three kittens and their skeins of yarn. She shared with me as she gave it to me that she hadn’t had a chance to finish it yet. In the moment, I distinctly remember, at that moment, so many years ago, focusing on the fact that the gift was not finished. It seemed so weird to me that somebody would give a gift that was unfinished. I couldn’t help but focus on the unfinished part. I still have the framed hand made gift my step- sister had given me, just as she had given it to me.

As life tends to go, we never got back around to me getting it to her to finish; I didn’t offer and she didn’t ask. But now, when I look at it, I focus on the finished part, the beauty of it, the generosity and thoughtfulness of her doing all the work she did on that. And, this is how I have worked to view the world around me, noticing what folks have done, their efforts, their intentions. This has been and continues to be a journey of growth for me. I am a cheerleader by nature, but also am a perfectionist in recovery. So, I have learned to let a lot go. Dr. Phil says “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” That line really speaks to me; for me it had become dichotomous like that.

So, I have worked to see and appreciate all of the positive around me, such as the beauty and thoughtfulness of the tapestry my step-sister sewn for me so many years ago. And in this, I have come to better understand the world and the people around me on a much deeper and more genuine way. This has helped me tremendously in my journey to understand.

Until next time,

Robin

My Judgmental Confession

A good friend of mine gave me a very unique gift.  I was leaving my job of 13 years to go to a new one, a very exciting and very stressful time. This friend is always so empathetic and understanding. I admire him tremendously.

I had given him the book “The Giving Tree” when he was going through a journey of the unknown in his life. This book represents him tremendously, always giving of himself to others.  Well, thankfully and wonderfully, he came through his journey of the unknown.  And, upon his return he shared with me what he had done with the book.  He had colored in and decorated each page.  My response at the time? I actually don’t recall if I shared it out loud or just thought it. But, I do remember it’s content.  My focus was “that book is supposed to be black-and-white”.

Now, as is my friend’s nature, he gives again. As I opened my going away/congratulations on your new job gift, tears very quickly welled up in my eyes.  What was before me? A framed picture. But, not just any picture. Before me, in my hand, was the last page of The Giving Tree, colored in and decorated by my friend. The depth of its meaning and its strength moved me tremendously.    That was over a year ago. The picture is displayed on my desk, right next to my computer monitor. I look at it often, and think about the. many lessons learned from my friend.

As I recently began my one word journey to understand, I continue to revisit and think about past experiences, such as this one. My first response to my friend sharing what he had done with the book I had given to him really was judgmental and lacked understanding.  Looking back at it now, I’m actually embarrassed at how close-minded I was about understanding how my friend experienced my gift. How dare I corral his experience into my lens and worldview. But, that was my lack of understanding and open-mindedness.  Thus, the journey before me. I work each day to understand what is before me, what another is expressing to me in their words, in their understanding, in their experience.

Until next time ,

Robin

My Journey Begins

I first discovered ONEWORD365 when I was searching the web for a 365 New Words a Year Page-a-Day Calendar.  I had received the 365 New Words a Year Page- a -Day Calendar 2014 for Christmas.  I had thought a fun writing project would be to write one sentence for each word into a story, working hard to connect such unique and unfamiliar words.  Unfortunately, I had thrown away the first word really without even looking at it, as I settled my calendar into work on January 2nd.  I went on-line searching for the first word of this particular calendar. Instead, I found this journey and community.  Funny thing is, the focus here is one word, and I discovered this whole amazing community by searching for one word. 

Choosing my word wasn’t really a choice.  The word rather quickly worked its way to the front of my brain.  Understanding.  Then, I honed the word further to the verb of this word: understand. This felt more in line with my journey; action oriented.

I have been working to be more understanding for a very long time.  But, as many things in our lives, focus, attention, and intention waxes and wanes, as other priorities come in and out of and focus. My desire to be more understanding, to understand, is something that I am and have been very interested in.  I have put some tools in place to help me stay focused on this.  For example, at my office, taped to the bottom of my computer monitor, bolded in 48-point font is the following phrase:  “Ask don’t Assume”.  This serves as a reminder to come at things from an open mind, an inquisitive and explorative stance.  I find myself coming at things with a frame of reference of having an idea of what happened or what the situation is and going from there. This is not where I want to be.  I want to have my reflex to be to ask, to seek information and knowledge, rather than assuming something else.  I have made some gains in my mission, but certainly have much more room for growth with this.  ONEWORD365 seems like just the opportunity to continue my growth and journey with this in a more focused and intentional way.

 So, I am making a commitment to understand, to understand individuals, their experiences, and their perspectives.  This journey will take a lot of effort, a lot of focus, a lot of opening my mind, a lot of listening more and talking less.  I will blog weekly on my journey.  Writing for me has always been a way to more deeply explore and give meaning to my experiences and the world around me.  So, here, I begin my ONEWORD365 journey to understand. 

Until next time,

 

Robin.