The Unfinished Tapestry

Many years ago, my step-sister gave me a tapestry that she had sewn by hand. It was a gift. She had framed it, wrapped it and presented it to me. But, it was unfinished. There were all loose threads in the back, a knotted mess. She had handsewn most of the three kittens and their skeins of yarn. She shared with me as she gave it to me that she hadn’t had a chance to finish it yet. In the moment, I distinctly remember, at that moment, so many years ago, focusing on the fact that the gift was not finished. It seemed so weird to me that somebody would give a gift that was unfinished. I couldn’t help but focus on the unfinished part. I still have the framed hand made gift my step- sister had given me, just as she had given it to me.

As life tends to go, we never got back around to me getting it to her to finish; I didn’t offer and she didn’t ask. But now, when I look at it, I focus on the finished part, the beauty of it, the generosity and thoughtfulness of her doing all the work she did on that. And, this is how I have worked to view the world around me, noticing what folks have done, their efforts, their intentions. This has been and continues to be a journey of growth for me. I am a cheerleader by nature, but also am a perfectionist in recovery. So, I have learned to let a lot go. Dr. Phil says “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” That line really speaks to me; for me it had become dichotomous like that.

So, I have worked to see and appreciate all of the positive around me, such as the beauty and thoughtfulness of the tapestry my step-sister sewn for me so many years ago. And in this, I have come to better understand the world and the people around me on a much deeper and more genuine way. This has helped me tremendously in my journey to understand.

Until next time,

Robin

Footprints in the Snow

 

 

Recently, while sledding in our newest blanket of snow, I saw an interesting sight that left me thinking. I found myself peering at several paths of footprints in the snow. I myself had made my own path, as walking in the other footprints proved to be too difficult; I kept slipping and losing my balance in the  existing footprints. But, the person I was with easily walked in a path made by another person.

My head ran away with this.  This feels like an analogy for life.  Some people walk in the paths of others, other people make their own way. But, wait, there is another way to interpret this, a way that focuses on empathy and understanding; walking in another’s footprints to understand their experience, their life, their emotions. This was all right in front of me, practically hitting me over the head with its obviousness, yet I was still struck with its profoundness and relevance. This is my very journey, to more fully understand others around me, their experience, their life, their emotions. This is why I have chosen understand as my one word journey.

The person I was with very easily “walked in another’s path”.  Some people can very easily empathize with another’s journey and struggle, and better understand their perspective.  Others stay focused on making their own path.  For me, the journey to understand is to symbolically walk in another’s path; to better understand their perspective, their experience, their emotions.  Walking in another’s path proved to be difficult for me on that snowy hill that day.  But, I will continue my one word journey to understand, unsteady footing and all.

Until next time…..

School Bus

Today, as I was rushing to get through the streets of New Haven, I got stuck, stuck behind a school bus. My thoughts began to yell inside my head. Please, no. Please do not put your red lights on. Please do not flip that stop sign out.

Then, the bus began to flash it’s red lights. Next, the stop sign snapped dutifully into position. A deep sigh filled my car, rather loudly. As I watched, the following scene unfolded before me.

A girl, about 15 years old, was helped off of the bus by presumably her father. He carefully held her arm, as she held his, and they began walking towards their home. Then, they paused for a moment. Does she need a break, need to rest? No, that’s not it at all. What I see touches me deeply. I see them both carefully looking at a piece of artwork she had brought home with her. They each point at different parts of the picture on the paper. Then, he looks into her eyes , and she into his. The warmth of their connection snaps me back into reality. All at once I am embarrassed at my pettiness in my rush to get past the bus. My rush to pass this, when this is what life is all about.

I just know that my rushing, my lack of attention to the world around me, I mean the important stuff, is such a missed opportunity, an opportunity to learn, to better understand. I so desire to better understand. I must make an effort to slow down and observe, take it all in. This will help me to understand, others, the world, myself.